Friday, April 4, 2008

Sleep Disordered, Part 3

This photo illustrates how I sleep at night these days -- with a full-face mask strapped tightly to my face. (You should see the deep creases and indentations it leaves when I take it off every morning!) The Resmed "VPAP Adapt SV," which I've described in previous posts, completely resolves my problems with complex sleep apnea; unfortunately, I was sort of counting on the machine to help me kick my dependency on sleep meds, a misplaced hope at best. I may not need the meds anymore to sleep at night, but falling asleep is a different matter, and at this point I just can't shut my mind down enough to become drowsy without chemical assistance. I need to get off the meds, however, which leaves me with a choice between (a) weaning myself off them gradually (a process that could have indefinite duration, theoretically), and (b) going "cold turkey," staying awake (for 72 straight hours? 96?) until my body gives up its aversion to sleep. (I keep flashing on the scene in The Two Towers where Gandalf exorcises Saruman from the body of King Theoden of Rohan.) Neither is a happy alternative, but I'm almost leaning toward the latter, even though I'd need to take at least a week off work to accomplish it -- I don't even want to think about how unpleasant it would be.